Living Out Loud with Darian

Dear Donnie,
You don’t know me but I’m well aware of who you are. Although we have never met, years ago your music became apart of my life. But not a single lyric or melody has had the impact that your life story has had . Let me forewarn you that this is not a letter of admiration or praise for your ministry. While I cannot dismiss the calling God has for your life or your anointed musical ability, as a gay African-American man I must dismiss the lies and misinformation you have fed the public regarding the origin of sexual orientation and the ability to revert to heterosexuality if desired.

As a former victim of child molestation I’m sure during your early development sexuality was a very confusing matter for you. I’m truly sorry that you had to endure so much pain at such a young age and that the pain has continued in your adult life.

Your story was given to me by mother and to many other gay brothers by relatives as a prescription to cure their homosexuality. See Donnie this is where I have the problem. I don’t have a sickness and I don’t need something as natural to me as my skin color to be prayed out, sent to an X gay ministry, or married into a unauthentic heterosexual relationship.

You claim that you have been delivered and now lead a “normal” heterosexual life, what I see is a man who may have changed his behavior but not his orientation. Let me tell you Donnie there is a difference.

I know it would be extremely difficult for you to live life as an out gay man in your industry, the majority of your peers are still closeted, and we all know that in the black church if you remain a quiet homosexual then others are free to believe you’re not in spite of knowing the truth.

I’ve heard you say in interviews that you were miserable when you were living the “gay lifestyle”(whatever that means). I really hope that as a single man in his 40’s with no signs of getting married in the near future, you have found happiness in conforming to the unauthentic expectations on your life that you’ve decided to accept.

I know it’s not easy being true to yourself and aligning that with the word, there is obvious conflict in scriptures according to many interpretations. I can only speak for myself when I say I don’t think I would have ever sought out God so early in life and developed a relationship with him if I hadn’t been blessed with a same gender attraction. The homophobia I experienced growing up kept me on my knees praying.

So Donnie I know it’s much easier playing the role and not making anyone uncomfortable by allowing them to see the real you, but for how long?

Your message is one-sided and has provided false hope for people looking to change their son or daughter when the author of the story is clearly still struggling himself. My life changed completely the day I decided to accept my DNA as God created it. Will you accept yours?

Darian